In the last blog, I gave you some of the back story, this time, I’m going to talk about what's going on in my life right now. I have thought long and hard about this and I think it would be very therapeutic for me to write about it, instead of just thinking about it all the time. Generally I’m a very private person, for those that read my book, you know I even kept most things from my children and dealt with things on my own. This time my children are a lot older and they know everything, especially after reading my book. So when I got hit with this new information, I got questioned extensively. They wanted to make sure they knew it all this time and weren’t left in the dark.
A few weeks ago, I had a regular mammogram checkup. When I got there they asked me if I wanted the regular one or a 3D mammogram. I opted for the latter, what could it hurt I thought. This wasn’t my first one, but this was by far the most painful one that I have had. I was happy when the technician was done, she explained that it would be about ten days before I got the results.
I went back to my regular routine and didn’t think twice about the test once the soreness went away three days later. One morning while leaving the gym, I received a notification of a voicemail. This was normal since there wasn't reception where I was in the basement of the gym. When I got settled into my car I listened to the voicemail, it was someone from the imaging department at the hospital. She stated that she couldn’t tell me information in a voicemail, I would need to call them back. I did just that, no one answered so I left a voicemail then headed home.
I was nervous because they always gave me results in my voicemail if I missed the call. I would also get the results online before anyone would even call, this time nothing, I checked. I called a friend to take my mind off things and tried not to worry. While on the call, the hospital called in, I hung up with my friend and answered the call.
The lady on the other end said that they saw some things on the images and they needed me to come back in for a diagnostic and possible ultrasound. I made the appointment then asked Did they find something? The lady replied, “I’m not sure, I just do the scheduling, they will be able to answer your questions at your next appointment.”
Why wouldn’t a nurse call to go over the results? I had questions that I needed answered and no one to answer them. I sat in my car, in the parking lot of my apartment for a minute then called my friend back to let him know what she said, and calm myself down a bit. After working up the nerve to finally head inside, knowing that my daughter would see that something was wrong with me, and would ask. I had to prepare myself to answer her truthfully.
I took a few deep breaths and headed up the stairs and into my apartment. Once inside, my daughter was still in her room laying down. I put my things away and called a family meeting. I promised my children that if something else would go on with me, I would not keep it from them again.
I told my children everything I knew, of course they had questions that I couldn’t answer, I had the same questions. I took the rest of the evening to myself, I had to clear my mind and come up with a game plan. I tried not to worry too much. A few weeks ago I started a detox and changed my diet to plant based only. I cut out all processed foods and started taking more herbs and supplements on a regular basis. If it is cancer, I already had a head start and I plan to continue doing what I’m doing.It wasn’t until a few hours after I spoke to my children, that I got a notification of new test results in my chart online. I opened it up and read, then researched what everything meant, trying to figure out how worried I should be. I had three places on one side that were “abnormal” and a calcium cluster on the other side, so they needed more images. Why didn’t a nurse call to explain things? Why would they not explain knowing I would have questions? My appointment is a little over a week away and the only thing I can do now, is wait.